


Home Cooking

by HelloSweetPanda



Category: Black Dagger Brotherhood - J. R. Ward
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-07-11
Packaged: 2018-11-30 16:51:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11467683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HelloSweetPanda/pseuds/HelloSweetPanda
Summary: Bella wants to cook for her mate Zsadist





	Home Cooking

Beth paused halfway down the staircase and listened. The house was quiet.

Too quiet.

Usually the tv was on blast with one of Lasiters soap operas or trash talk shows that he was addicted to. There would also be the clinking of balls where Butch was hustling one of the Brothers in a game of pool.

There was also no rattling of bottles from the bar, no arguing in the library, no fighting in entry and no sounds of eating from the dining room.

Way too quiet.

Beth arched a brow in question and proceeded the rest of the way down the stairs to investigate. The last time it had been this quiet …. well, actually, it had never been this quiet in the house before. That, more than anything else caused the most alarm.

Just as Beth reached the bottom of the stairs she caught sight of a group of doggen milling around in front of the door that lead to the kitchen. The oddity itself caused Beth to come to a standstill, as the doggen were never not doing anything. They were always cleaning, serving, cooking, prepping …. just always doing something.

Beth started forward and just as she opened her mouth to ask what was going on, Mary came through the kitchen door. The door swung back and forth, giving peeks at what looked to be a national disaster that had decimated the kitchen.

Mary looked absolutely exasperated, as if she had reached her melting point and was going to explode. That in itself was another red flag that something was very wrong. Mary had the patience of a saint (pretty much a job requirement with a mate like Rhage), and anything that overset that female’s chill factor was something to pay attention to.

Mary answered Beth’s question before she could even ask it.

“Bella is trying to cook again.”

Beth shut her mouth and groaned in despair. No wonder the first floor was deserted and the doggen were all looking like they were going to have anxiety attacks.

That one sentence explained everything.

Cooking wasn’t really Bella’s strong point. To be blunt: Bella was terrible at it. As in she should be banned from ever picking up cooking or baking paraphernalia. Anything that required a stove, oven, or even a microwave usually ended very, very, very, very badly for the food.

The exception being sandwiches and cereal. And even then there was an exception to the exception when things had gotten dicy when Bella had gotten it into her head to make her own bread. Fritz had not only had to buy a new breadmaker, but had gone so far as to hiding it and only using it in the Pit’s kitchen.

It was still a mystery how Bella managed to melt a hole into the granite countertop with the breadmaker. The incident had spawned a running joke about Bella and the breadmaker being equal to Vishous and his glowing hand.

The worst part of Bella’s culinary efforts was that the mansion would reek of burnt food for days, no matter what the doggen did to try and air out the house. And that was saying something because the doggen were pretty much the end all be all in getting things clean and fresh.

Mary had tried to assist Bella with cooking and baking, but Bella had declined any and all offers of help because she was determined to do it all on her own. Bella had seen what pleasure it brought Rhage when he was eating a meal made by his female and Bella wanted to do the same for Zsadist.

Except that Bella’s culinary endeavors were no where near edible.

Mary and Beth had thought that Bella would give up eventually. After all, Bella was an intelligent female and was bound to realize that her talents did not include cooking or baking. Especially after all the recipes that she had decimated.

What they didn’t take into consideration was Bella’s stubborn determination, the same stubborn determination that had captured Zsadist’s heart.

It also didn’t help that Lasiter was encouraging Bella to keep up her efforts in cooking by watching Food Network and the Cooking Channel with her, pointing out all the mouth watering dishes that looked just soooooo easy to make. Talk about the devil whispering in Bella’s ear.

And as with anything involving the devil or Lasiter, it never turns out like they promise.

On the bright side, Lasiter would end up persona non grata after one of Bella’s culinary fiascos, so The Brotherhood didn’t have to deal Lasiter or his daytime talk shows for about a week.

And as if the whole cooking thing couldn’t get any worse - just add Zsadist into the mix.

No matter how badly the food Bella had made turned out - nothing could keep Zsadist from eating the food his mate had prepared for him. As a warrior, Zsadist found great pleasure in feeding his female from his own hand, but to have his female cook for him was an honor beyond measure (the whole reason Bella was cooking in the first place). So he ate what Bella made with great gusto. And you would think that it would please his mate to have him eat what she had made him, but in fact it pissed Bella off to no end to have Zsadist decimate every last bite of the meal.

Bella knew the food she had made was terrible. It looked terrible, smelled terrible and tasted terrible, but Zsadist would eat it anyway. He had been a slave for 100 years and kept himself starved for a 100 years after that. Food was food and the fact that his nalla had made it for him made it the most delicious cuisine on the planet.

Bella thought he was just placating her, which again, pissed her off to no end.

And when Bella was pissed off at her hellren, Zsadist reverted back to being a mean ass mother fucker. He was downright brutal when he and his mate were on the outs.

The last time Zsadist and Bella had a falling out the doggen had to fix a Rhage sized hole in the dining room wall as well as replace the buffet and a couple of dining room chairs. Butch had ended up walking with a limp for a few days and for a while you couldn’t tell which side of Vishous’ face had the tattoo because of the matching black eyes he was sporting. Not to mention Phury had gone missing for a full 24 hours before showing back up at the mansion covered in blood and dirt.

So it was in everyone’s best interests to try and stop Bella from doing any form of cooking or baking in the kitchen and if that didn’t work, try and get as far away from the kitchen and Zsadist as possible.

And based off of Mary’s exasperated look, stoping Bella from cooking was a no go, so it looked as if everyone in the mansion had taken the only option open to them and that was to get away as far and as fast as possible.

The only ones who didn’t leave the immediate area were the doggen. It was almost like when a female went into her needing - and the males became incapable of leaving the area around the female. The doggen were the same way, they were absolutely incapable of leaving the area of a mess, let alone a mess of epic proportions.

“What is she making?” Beth asked and then immediately held up her hands and shook her head. “No, no. Don’t tell me.”

Mary had to smile at that. For some reason, Beth would always crave the dish that Bella had tried to make and utterly destroyed. The doggen were always happy to make said dish for the Queen, except that it would usually cause a delay in the reconciliation between Bella and Zsadist, because Zsadist would comment that the dish Bella had made was much better, which would just set Bella off again and then it was back to everyone ducking for cover.

Beth was just about suggest her and Mary leave the mansion and go a hotel with a spa (as she and Mary were one of the very few who didn’t have to fear sunlight, a hotel was a legitimate option for them as the Pit and the training center were probably jam packed with other members of the household) when Mary suddenly blurted out a loud curse.

“Oh shit.”

Beth opened her mouth to ask what was wrong when she noticed that Mary wasn’t even looking at her. She was looking behind her. Turning, Beth looked to see what had caught Mary’s attention and then let out a curse of her own.

“Oh shit!”

Dressed in his signature turtleneck, black leathers and shit kicker boots, Zsadist had just walked through the front door.

With Rehvenge.

Bella’s half vampire, half sympath, mohawked, pinstripe suited, cane carrying, mink coat wearing brother.

Talk about making a bad situation worse. Like swimming in a tank full of sharks and then throwing in some piranhas just to make it that much more fun.

Everyone knew the relationship between Zsadist and Rehvenge was contentious at best. And that was putting it nicely.

Rehvenge still held the belief that no male was good enough for his sister. Bella was the light of his life and he made keeping her safe and happy a top priority. He would kill for her.

In fact, he had killed for her. He had killed that bastard who was biologically her sire, but was in no way in hell a father. So Rehvenge wouldn't hesitate to put her mate six feet under should he ever make Bella unhappy.

So, ‘Oh Shit’ was a very appropriate response to what was about to go down. And given what was about to go down, it was probably prudent for Mary and Beth to leave the immediate area, but they couldn’t seem to move.

It was like going past a car accident, they couldn’t not look.

Another reason why the females stayed was because they wanted to see Rehvenge’s reaction to Bella’s cooking. No one actually knew for sure if Rehv was aware of what a terrible cook his sister was. He was never around during the “incidents” and there was never any sort of reaction when a comment was made about Bella in the kitchen.

There was a debate that Rehvenge didn’t know what a terrible cook Bella was because of the kitchen in the barn house Bella used to own. The barn house that Rehvenge had bought for his sister and remodeled the kitchen, making it look like it belonged in Better Homes & Gardens magazine. If Rehvenge actually knew what a terrible cook Bella was he wouldn’t have bothered remodeling the kitchen as that would be akin to knitting a sweater for a dead squirrel.

Of course it was argued that Bella’s sweet kitchen in the barn house wasn’t a confirmation that Rehvenge did or didn’t know about his sister's skills in the kitchen. Rehv was the type of male who had outfitted aka blinged out his garage which he didn’t even use, so why wouldn’t he remodel his sister's kitchen, even if she couldn’t cook to save her life.

So Mary and Beth stayed just outside the kitchen to 1) see if Rehvenge and Zsadist were going to come to blows and 2) answer the question as to if Rehvenge knew how bad of a cook his sister was.

Both Zsadist and Rehvenge nodded at the two females as they made their way to the kitchen, the doggen who had been milling around the door scattered like birds as they approached, clearing the pathway for the two large males who strode past them and into the kitchen.

Beth and Mary creeped forward towards the kitchen, as the doggen reformed around the door that the two big males just went through, but making sure to keep the pathway clear, as if they too knew the situation was going to come to a bad end and didn't want to get mowed down by any large male bodies flying through the kitchen door.

Mary, Beth and the doggen all fell silent as they strained to listen to what was going on in the kitchen. They could hear some pots and pans banging around and the murmur of low voices, but nothing to herald the the shit storm they were all anticipating.

A few minutes passed, and then another few. More time passed with again just the low ebb of voices and and the sound of movement around the kitchen.

Beth and Mary were silently debating whether or not to risk taking a peek into the kitchen when there was a sudden explosion of sound, making the females and the doggen all jump up and back away from the kitchen door in surprise.

The first bang was followed by another explosive bang, sounding suspiciously like a pan being thrown against the wall, and voices being raised. Well one voice actually, Bella’s.

Everyone outside the kitchen door braced for what was to come next and were damn flabbergasted when Rehvenge walked out of the kitchen.

Walked out.

Not thrown out of the kitchen. Walked out of the kitchen.

And not only walked out of the kitchen, walked out of the kitchen with Bella thrown over his shoulder like she was a sack of flour.

Mary and Beth would have laughed if they had not been so shocked, as they had been expecting a fight of epic proportions.

“Rehv! Put me down!” Bella bellowed as she as she tried to get free of her brother’s hold and got absolutely nowhere fast.

“Let your male eat the food you made for him in peace, Bella.” Rehvenge said, as he walked carefully towards the front door of the mansion, his cane tapping loudly on the marble floor.

“I don’t want him to eat it in peace. In fact I don’t want him to eat it at all. It terrible. I absolutely ruined it. I wouldn’t even feed it to the racoons who lived behind my barn house.” Bella said as she continued to try and wiggle free out of her brother’s grip.

“He doesn't care how it tastes, let him eat it.” Rehvenge said in such a reasonable tone of voice that Mary and Beth both did a double take, and started to seriously question whether or not they were in the Twilight Zone, because in what dimension was Bella’s very dangerous and very temperamental brother ever reasonable?

“I care how it tastes.” Bella exclaimed with a frown. “If I don't even want raccoons to eat it, why would I let my hellren eat it?”

Even though the question was rhetorical, Rehv answered it anyway. “I highly doubt your mate allows anyone to let him do anything.”

“The same could be said for you and I didn't let you eat the food I made for you when I lived at home.”

“That is because it tasted terrible and I wouldn't have eaten it anyway.” Rehvenge said as turned to the side Bella was on and nudged her to open up the front door to the mansion.

Mary and Beth missed Bella’s response as the sound of the door being opened muffled her voice, and then the both of them were outside, the dual door system closing tightly behind them.

“Well that answers that question.” Beth said, glad to know that Rehvenge did actually know what a terrible cook his sister was. Knowing him, he probably why he didn't think it necessitated a response when the subject is his sister's lack of cooking skills came up. It was probably akin to asking if the Pope was a Catholic.

Mary and Beth stood their for a moment, quietly stunned by the anticlimactic ending of what they had anticipated to be a huge throwdown between shellan and hellren and the two brother-in-laws.

The sound of activity in the kitchen pulled Beth and Mary’s attention away from the front doors of the mansion to the kitchen door. The doggen were all gone, and they could hear the sound of them cleaning the kitchen. You would think that they would wait until Zsadist was done eating and out of the kitchen before they would go in there, but they just couldn’t help themselves when there was a mess to take care of.

“Do you think they are still going to fight about this?” Mary asked as she looked hard at the kitchen door, as if it would have the answer to her question.

Beth chewed on her lip thoughtfully as she glanced from the kitchen door to Mary. “Knowing Bella, yup. Just because Rehvenge took her out of the mansion, doesn’t mean she still isn’t going to be mad about Zsadist eating the meal she made for him.”

Mary thought about that for a moment and then nodded her head, agreeing with the answer.

“So, it would probably be a good idea for us to leave for a while. There is this hotel downtown that just opened up a new spa and I thought we could hang out there for a while, until this blows over.” Beth said as she looped an arm through Mary’s and headed for the front door.

“Good idea.” Mary said, knowing that the mansion was probably not the best place to be for the next few days.


End file.
